Spring is just around the corner and, here at Coach Sappho, we are busy as bees!   One of our newest projects is launching Coach Sappho’s Facebook Fan Page and, we are excited to have you join on.  Tell your friends about us too.

HINT…hint…to reward those of you who jump on early, we’ll be announcing a contest soon for some great prizes, which will be drawn from the first 500 fans that join on!

Become a fan of Coach Sappho today, before the 500th fan signs up!

Click here to do so now!

By Woody Derricks

(Note from Barb Elgin:  Today’s post signals the start of new resources for you and all readers of Coach Sappho’s blog:  the inclusion of guest experts who will share with you information, tips and suggestions specially designed for the GLBT community.  Today’s post focuses in on financial concerns and was written by guest author, Woody Derricks.  Woody is a comprehensive financial planner who specializes in the financial concerns of the gay and lesbian community.)

For gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered individuals, reaching financial goals frequently present unique challenges.  You may be aware of some of the issues that can affect you and your loved ones’ financial well being – others may come as a surprise.  One thing is clear: when it comes to managing your wealth, it is critical that you understand your options and opportunities – as well as potential obstacles.

If you are in a relationship, the first step is to include your partner. Because many domestic partners maintain separate bank accounts, they feel as though they should plan for the future as individuals.  I ask my clients: Do you own your home together?  Would you like to pass on a portion of your estate to your partner?  If your partner became disabled, would you provide financial support?  If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you may want to evaluate your financial future as a couple.

Disparities in age present another hurdle for domestic partners. Frequently, partners may have a difference of 5, 10, 15 or more years between them.  Age affects the way we perceive risk with our investments and how we prepare for retirement.  Younger investors are more likely to accept ups and downs in the market as they have a longer time horizon.  Additionally, they have more time to accumulate funds for their retirement years.  For those who find themselves rapidly approaching retirement or who have already retired, the focus shifts from building for retirement to protecting those assets they have accumulated.  Balancing the need to grow with the need to protect can be a daunting task.

Other areas of concern include insurance and estate planning. You should ask yourself several questions: When I pass away, will my partner be entitled to my pension benefits?  How can I best protect my partner and myself while I am alive and after I have passed away? As we know, family members do not always look favorably on the relationship and may desire to have your assets for themselves.

Believe it or not, the Tax Code has produced some benefits for domestic partners. Due to the government viewing same-sex couples as individuals, many higher income partners find that they can contribute more to their Roth IRA’s, pay taxes at a lower rate, and have more deductions available to them than a married couple with a similar combined income.  Work with your financial planner and your tax advisor to identify each of the areas from which you could benefit.

As many look to grow and protect their wealth, they are turning to comprehensive financial planners.  Comprehensive financial planners separate themselves from traditional stockbrokers by providing their clients with thorough investment, retirement, tax, and estate planning strategies while developing a long-term relationship.  If you are in the market for a comprehensive financial planner, you will want to work with someone who understands your needs, respects your relationship, and, most importantly, someone you can trust.

Woody Derricks, the President of Partnership Wealth Management, LLC, has over 10 years experience helping GLBT individuals and couples reach their financial goals.  Click here to find Woody on Facebook.

This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide specific advice to any individual.  Consult your legal, tax, and/or financial advisor to determine what is appropriate for your situation.

Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC.

So I want to encourage the woman who this is happening to, to just follow your true self. Just be your authentic self because there’s nothing sexier or more beautiful than that. You can be younger and a fake…I much prefer talking with [or] being friends with the person who’s older and themselves.
- Carol Leifer, comedian

The topic of discovering you are lesbian at age 40 or older is a hot one, in the media and in the press.  It is really not known how common this phenomenon of ‘coming out later in life’ is, but, it definitely touches a nerve, especially in the lesbian community.

This morning I was catching up on some email and I came across a great article on the comedian Carol Leifer, whose story of coming out at midlife is now spreading across the country.   She’s even written a book about her experience, called “When You Lie About Your Age, The Terrorists Win”.

It is really not known how common this phenomenon is, but, it definitely touches a nerve, especially in the lesbian community.

Now, certainly Leifer’s story is unusual in that she’s famous (actually, I hadn’t heard of her until her life story has become more visible).   And, she admits it’s easier for her living in Los Angeles, where there is a higher percentage of gays and lesbians than many areas of the country.

However, it turned out that Leifer wasn’t just ‘experimenting’.  At first she admits she was looking for a ‘sexual’ fling, but here it is 13 years later and she’s been a relationship with the first woman she met (and fell in love with) since then.

I thought it might be interesting to discuss, here on the blog, her story, as it relates to yours.  Did you come out ‘later in life’, like Carol?  If you did, how did it go (or, how is it going) for you?  What were/are your biggest challenges?

Did/do you encounter frustration from lesbians you date as you ‘figure it all out’?  How is your family handling your ‘mid-course change’?

What differences, if any, do you experience, between being with a man and being with a woman in a love or dating relationship?

Fascinating subject, isn’t it?

Barb Elgin, MSW, LCSW, Certified Singles Coach, is Coach Sappho: America’s Favorite Lesbian Love Coach.  Be sure to stop by Coach Sappho’s website today, take Coach Sappho’s ‘Luscious Lesbian Living and Loving Quiz’ and call Barb to set up a complimentary phone call to get the most out of your results.

©2009, Barb Elgin.  All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer: The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.

I’m on an ‘interview roll’ these days – and I love it!  Talking to radio hosts all over the country is such a great experience and an honor.  And, it’s so important for me to get the word out that lesbians fall in love, have lasting, great love relationships (including – hopefully – healthy, sizzlin’ sex lives), ask dating questions and voice couple’s concerns just like everyone else!

I’m especially excited to talk with mainstream audiences about ‘what a lesbian love coach can teach everyone about love’, because it’s such a vital topic, for the world, for politics, for each person’s health, family relationships, etc.

Below is information on three live radio appearances I have coming up in the next couple of weeks.  If you can listen in, be sure to do so.  Be sure to tell your family and friends to listen in too!:

This Saturday, April 18, 2009, at 6p ET – I’ll be chatting it up with Greg Halpen, The Gay Guy’s Love Coach.  You can listen in on your computer online at Blogtalkradio!

Monday, April 20, 2009, at 7:30a ET - Catch me live on Larry Whitler’s ‘AM Ocala Live‘ on WOCA Newstalk 1370 AM Marion County’s Information Station, based in my hometown, Ocala, Florida.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009, at 8:30a ET – I’ll be talking live on FM 92 in Minneapolis, Minnesota on KQRS, a ‘classic rock’ station on their morning show.

So be sure to enjoy dinner with me this Saturday and wake up with me on April 20th and 28th!  You’ll love it…  

Things are hopping over here at Coach Sappho.  We continue to prepare for the new website (dust IS everywhere!), but, in the meantime we move forward, serving you and your fellow lesbians in the community!

HERE’S WHAT’S COMING UP NEXT WEEK AT COACH SAPPHO:

• BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!! I’m thrilled to report that I’ve been invited to appear as a guest on HRC’s The Agenda XM satellite radio show!  Needless to say yours truly is amply excited about joining Joe Solomonese and Mary Breslau on XM satellite radio channel 120 around 6:30p ET this coming Monday night, January 28th.  Hope you’ll stop by and take a listen.  I’m excited to join the elite list of guests (more…)

According to the Relationship Coaching Institute, a relationship coaching school I am a member of, Relationship Coaching is a…

professional, client-focused service where an individual or couple is assumed to be healthy, powerful, and able to achieve relationship goals with effective support, information, and guidance

My style of coaching has been described by clients as:

• inspiring
• very informational/’you are a font of knowledge’
• transformative
• challenging without being coercive – ‘you help me be true to myself’
• refreshing
• fun while at the same time helpful

Coach is not therapy.  The chart below, adapted from Hayden and Whitworth, 1995, distinguishes the major differences between coaching and therapy:

Currently, most of my services are provided via the telephone.  That means you can enjoy all of this support from the comfort and privacy of home. 

For a list of the benefits of telephone coaching, click here.

I just have to put a plug in here for a Florida attorney by the name of John Morgan.  If you live in central Florida you’ve probably seen his TV ads, for ‘Morgan and Morgan’. 

Well, the other night, I happened to catch an interview that was done with Mr. Morgan on a local PBS station.  The topic was the anti-gay marriage amendment here in Florida. 

I held my breath – after all he is a nice looking, southern, white guy and I figured ‘here we go, we’re about to get blasted…’ and, much to my pleasant surprise, John Morgan spoke very favorably for voting no against this horrible amendment.  He also spent quite a bit of his time talking about these hatemongers, specifically mentioning the man who spearheaded the drive to get the signatures to put the amendment on the ballot.  He said they needed to ‘get a life’ and that most fair-minded folks are ‘onto these sad people’ (or something to that effect).

Way to go John Morgan.  We here at Coach Sappho love you!  Please write or call Mr. Morgan and give him thanks for speaking up so clearly, decisively and boldy about this issue, which affects all of us dearly.

Barb Elgin
Hear me live on HRC’s ‘The Agenda’
XM Satellite Radio Channel 120 on
Monday night, January 28th at 6:3opm ET