As I’ve been saying quite often lately, there seems to be an accelerating number of lesbian groups, organizations and events happening in communities across America.  This is, of course, great news for lesbians seeking a social life, especially single lesbians.   I coach all my gals in my social club for lesbians, Lez Rendezvous, to get out there and attend at least one social event a week.  Two would be even better!

Just this past week, for example, I was talking with a single lesbian who had recently attended a lesbian camping weekend.  Here in Central Florida, the scene is no different.

For example, last month, while I was in Daytona Beach running my booth at Daytona’s Gay Pride Festival, the night before Pride I had an opportunity to finally meet Dee and the ‘Just Us’ gang, an established group of lesbians from the north east coast areas of Florida who meet for a variety of social gatherings.

And, in today’s post I want to highlight for you a brand new social group for lesbians that has come onto the scene in the Central Florida/Orlando, Florida area.  The group is called

GoGo Productions (Girlz of Greater Orlando)

and it was founded by an Orlando woman whose vision it is to:

“…create a friendly, relaxed atmosphere for womyn to mingle in and make new connections. It is my profound belief as owner moderator of this group that we always keep a positive environment and that we should support one another lift each other up, rather than tear each other down. There is no reason every day can not be Gay Days here in the Greater Orlando Area! All we need is You!!”

GoGo Productions has an active social calendar, with several events per month planned.  For example, tomorrow morning is their singles brunch and June includes events such as dinner and a movie, moonlight bowling and a coffee klatch, to name just a few.

If you’re a central Florida lesbian, you need to check out GoGo Productions.  No more excuses for not having something to do this month.  You can learn more about GoGo by clicking here.

What great events, groups or organizations in your town aren’t getting the attention they should?  What do you want other lesbians in your area to know about? Lesbian women all across America read Coach Sappho’s blog and want to know what to do with their social and recreational time, so, email me and let me know the scoop so I can spread the word.

Who knows…maybe that’s how we’ll get some new faces out to your next area event.  And, if you are single, perhaps that is how you’ll meet your soul mate!?!  

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Barb Elgin, MSW, LCSW, Certified Singles Coach, is Coach Sappho: America’s Favorite Lesbian Love Coach.  Attract Mz. Right Summer Camp for Single Lesbians starts 6/23/09.  Register by midnight PST on 6/20/09 and save 25% off – click here to learn all the details.

©2009, Barb Elgin.  All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer: The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.

I know it’s been a tough week for equality, fairness and for gay Californians especially.  The rest of the country is looking on, and doing all it can to be supportive.  That includes me, here in Florida.

I posted to a lesbian relationship blog I read quite often earlier today.  The blog’s creator lamented her frustration with the California decision and suggested perhaps we should stop wanting marriage and accept civil unions.

That’s a ‘mental space’ I’ve fallen into as well, at times.  That’s just what those who thrive on denying people civil rights want us to do.  That’s where I was back last year when I invited Evan Wolfson, from Freedom to Marry, to Coach Sappho’s podcast.  I was feeling defeated about gay marriage and, it’s chances of ever becoming the law of the entire U.S.

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One of my ‘single but dating one woman exclusively’ community members wrote me upset today as she is discovering what gay marriage activists have been squawking about for awhile now.  Yes, it’s true, I wrote, gay couples lose out financially in multiple ways when they can’t marry.  Even if a gay or lesbian couple is married in the five states where it is now legal or, signs on for those so-called domestic partnership benefits some local governments are allowing, it’s a ‘crumb’ compared to the whole loaf of bread straight couples receive.

I followed up on my community member’s request by locating one of the original papers written summarizing this inequality – Tax Implications for Gay Couples – by Goldberg and Badgett at the UCLA William’s Institute.  Another great piece that describes how these inequities play themselves out in the lives of real flesh and blood gay and lesbian couples is described here in an interesting NPR piece entitled ‘With the Gay Tax Love Doesn’t Come Cheap’.

As the author of the NPR piece eloquently states,

“The media’s primary focus on the morality debate around same-sex marriage means that most of the public, gay or straight, knows little about the very real economic costs of inequality. It doesn’t matter that Joan and I married in Massachusetts five years ago this week, or that our home state recognizes our marriage. It makes no difference that she works for a progressive company with an active LGBT employees group. Companies pay for their employees’ health insurance with pretax money through a federal program, and same-sex marriage isn’t federally recognized.”

What I find interesting about all of this is that, as gay and lesbian individuals start to value themselves and their relationships more, hearing facts like the above ‘hits home’ in ways they never have before.  Ten years ago, I know I didn’t yet comprehend the real financial ‘benefits’ I was being denied as a tax-paying, but devoted partner in a long term, committed relationship.  In my heart, I was as married as most of my married straight peers.

Ten years ago most of us didn’t much consider what we were being denied.  Now, we understand the impacts much, much more, particularly as we get older, grow old together and face more and more of the financial vulnerabilities of living and loving as committed couples, parents, families, etc.

Get educated.  Get angry.  Take constructive action.  While ten percent of gay and lesbian Americans can now legally wed their same sexed partner, even they still find their marriages invalidated federally.  We need to overturn nasty laws like DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) and give 100% of gay and lesbian couples in America federal marriage benefits – now!

Wow, it’s been an interesting time for me of late, in terms of grief and loss.  A couple of weeks ago I made the difficult decision of putting down my 18 year old miniature pinscher.  And, I do some psycho-therapeutic work with the elderly and have recently seen several of my clients pass on.

Now in the news this week we learned Elizabeth Edwards, wife of once presidential hopeful John Edwards, has published her new book Resilience.  Edwards opened up about her life on Oprah yesterday, sharing details about her terminal illness and her marriage, specifically John’s recent infidelity.  Then, as I talked with a fellow, ‘boomer’ friend last night, she mentioned it is now coming out that Farrah Fawcett is most likely losing her battle with cancer.

Given today’s internet and the explosion of media outlets, I think it’s even harder to deny these realities than in our parent’s midlife days.  We know more about more people and get the news almost immediately when it happens (especially when it’s not positive).

How about you? (more…)

Happy, happy Thursday to you.  What’s new with you?  I want to say:

Congratulations to Maine for legalizing same sex marriage and putting the issue behind them, hopefully once and for all.

I’m sure Maine ‘gets it’ that there are some very pressing domestic issues facing them, locally and nationally, such as the environment and the economy and those are the types of issues all of us, regardless of our differences, need to gather around and work together to improve.

Allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry can only help both Maine’s and the U.S.’s economy as well as help Maine’s communities in many other small, ‘quality of life’ ways.  The ‘doom and gloom’ scenarios the right have been putting out there are just that – scenarios, born of fear-based thinking that just doesn’t exist.  Worse yet, what a waste of human energy fighting against love.  Perhaps eventually these ‘anti-equality’ folks will get it.

The news today keeps getting better as I’ve got some of my own excitement to share…

I’ve been invited to write for a very interesting, visible, and popular GLBT web site – called Queercents.

Have you checked out Queercents?  This is a site that hit the ground running a few years ago and hasn’t stopped since.  Queercents has experienced rapid growth in content and readership.  It was founded by Nina Smith, who really understands the variety of financial issues facing GLBT’s.  I just love their tag line,

“We’re here, we’re queer and we’re not going shopping without coupons”.

I want to thank Nina for featuring me and my Queercents blog on their home page today, which I’ve titled:

Talkin’ About Lesbian Love: Secrets to Surviving the Lesbian Love Jungle

Nina notes in the feature – “It’s even rumored recently ‘out’ actress Kelly McGillis may be calling Coach Sappho for tips on surviving the lesbian love jungle”!

Well – we’d be glad to invite Kelly to join us here at Coach Sappho.  Kelly, you’d fit in here perfectly.  Kelly, check out Lez Rendezvous!

Queercents has a bevy of authors and topical discussions, all related in some way to GLBT’s and finances.  Be sure to check them out, it’s high quality stuff.

Savor each moment today!

Barb Elgin

I’m pleased to announce that we have several lucky winners (I’ve listed their first names only here) who will take home prizes from Coach Sappho as a result of visiting our booth at Daytona Beach Pride and playing our pride contest!

As a matter of fact, I’ve made the ‘executive decision’ that EVERYONE who played in the raffle will win something!!!  So, if you stopped by Coach Sappho’s booth, be sure to look for your first name below and, expect an email or call from me soon to award you YOUR prize!

Again, I want to thank the following Daytona Beach-area gay and gay-friendly businesses who donated these wonderful prizes.  I am in the process of notifying winners and businesses right now:

• Kathy won a two night stay at The August Seven Inn luxury guesthouse (estimated value – $350 – donated by owner/operator Peter Williamson)
• Cecily won a  ‘just in time’ Coach Sappho coaching package for one (estimated value $200 – donated by Barb Elgin)
• Joan won a $50 gift card for a massage (donated by Greg at New Age Touch Therapy Practice)
• Taz, Noel and Marla each won a $50 each gift certificate (total value $150 – donated by the Fantasy Shoppe Bookstore)
• Eileen won a wine tasting for 10 by Designing Wine in Deland (value – $50)
• Elizabeth won a $25 gift certificate from John’s ‘Stress Free’ Dog Grooming Shop in Holly Hills
• Christi won a dinner for two at the Daytona Beach Clubhouse Restaurant (value – $20)
• Amy, Maria, Liz, Ansley, DeAnna, Annette, Claudette, and Marvel each win their choice of a dating or relatonship book (donated by Barb Elgin/Coach Sappho – value – $10-15)

I want to thank everyone again who participated.  We had a lot of fun with the raffle and Daytona hosted me well, both at the ‘Just Us’ dinner by Dee at The Aquarium Saturday night and at Daytona Pride Festival the next day!