Hi all – I just returned from Washington, D.C. and the National Gay and Lesbian’s Chamber of Commerce first annual national conference! What an event. I was honored to serve on a panel on “Breaking through the Lavender Ceiling: Making it in a Businessman’s World.” Very interesting. I shared my story on starting and running ‘Coach Sappho’.

One of the other panelists is a top exec at Prudential by the name of Maggie Stumpp who recently transitioned male to female with the blessing of Prudential management. By the way, she manages over 41 billion dollars of investor’s money so, can literally ‘move the market’ and shared how she and Prudential worked together successfully to inspire/maintain the trusting relationship they have with Prudential’s investors throughout this process.

Who came up with the idea of a national chamber for GLBT’s?

About a year or so ago, I met these two really energetic guys who were starting the chamber, Justin Nelson and Chance Mitchell, who fervently believe mottos such as “nothing changes until you address the money” and “whoever has the gold makes the rules.” They want to put a face on GLBT business (as they noticed that most of the successful, visible, national GLBT advocacy organizations were focusing on advocacy/politics and social events).

If you weren’t aware, much of corporate America is ‘on the ball’ with sexual orientation and gender issues and many are poised to help GLBT-owned businesses succeed. This includes the giants who are sponsoring NGLCC like IBM, Cendant, Motorola, Wyndham Hotels and many more.

Very exciting stuff indeed – please check out their site:

http://www.nglcc.org

I’m sure they’ll have some great stuff up there soon about the conference.

They had an advocacy day scheduled on Thursday (for us to go to Capitol Hill and lobby re: gay biz issues), however it had to be cancelled due to Ronald Reagan’s funeral. I was very disappointed about that, but let’s hope we get another chance to lobby on the Hill soon.

I hear that next year’s conference with be in San Francisco.

By the way, I am co-founding two local chapters currently: Baltimore and Central Florida/Greater Orlando (my secondary residence) so if you would be interested in helping out with either of these efforts, I want U!

SPECIAL NOTE: If you or your business attended the conference, please feel free to post a comment on this site. It’s easy, just click on ‘comments’ below. Let readers know you are out there and let them know what you thought of the conference! Heck, it’s free advertising, eh? And, in a future post, I will list some of the members I met while there including some of the gay businesses in attendance.

Barb Elgin’s

Creating a Life I Love
Online Ezine – 4/27/05
barb@barbelgin.com
866-396-BARB

Happy Wednesday to you! I hope you are enjoying the week, balancing your time between work, love and play. Be sure to post your comments to this issue, using the ‘comments’ link below.  Tell us what you are up to and how you are balancing your time!

THIS ISSUE:

I. A DOSE OF SAPPHIC WISDOM: JOIN US AT COACH SAPPHO’S ‘CREATING A LIFE I LOVE’ CLUB TONIGHT AND BEGIN KICKING THE ADRENALIN LIFESTYLE HABIT

II. WISE BOOK TO CHECK OUT: CHARLES BARKLEY’S ‘WHO’S AFRAID OF A LARGE BLACK MAN?’

III. WISE RESOURCE FOR COACHES: MARION FRANKLIN’S LEARN TO COACH CLASS FOR BEGINNING COACHES

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I. A DOSE OF SAPPHIC WISDOM: JOIN US AT COACH SAPPHO’S ‘CREATING A LIFE I LOVE’ CLUB TONIGHT AND BEGIN KICKING THE ADRENALIN LIFESTYLE HABIT

Could it be possible, particularly if you are a small business owner or self-employed person, that you are more susceptible to adrenalin addiction?  I know when I try to explain to my mother that one of my biggest stresses as a self-employed person is being “too stimulated” she looks at me quite oddly.  Maybe dad would better understand, having been in the workplace all his life.  Although I’m sure maybe mom felt this too at times, raising four girls.

What I’m getting at is this: How does one maintain a sense of life balance when engaged in doing work one loves? Many of you who are reading this are building businesses and many of you are crafting businesses that address something you are quite passionate about. Does being totally engaged in what you are doing cancel out any of the negative effects of being too into what you are doing? Is it true, as I was told during the many stress management education classes I’ve taken over the years, that even too much of a ‘good thing’ is bad for me?

Earlier in the week, I emailed you a letter about the concept of adrenalin addiction. Did you take the time to read it? If you haven’t read the email yet (or haven’t deleted it), I hope you will go back and check it out. In the letter I talked about the real and present ‘danger,’ if you will, that threatens the long term health and wellness of most of us today. Yes, we are living longer. But what is the quality of those years? I think the trickiest part of modern day stress is it’s subtle, silent and hidden nature. No, we don’t often realize the toll lack of balance or adrenalin addiction is having on our bodies, minds, relationships, etc. Because it’s not hitting us square between the eyes everyday. We’re using our minds and our voices and our fingers at the keyboard, which lulls us into a sense of “I can do this forever” and then we’re surprised and wonder why we developed a splitting headache from working at the computer 12-15 hours yesterday. Or, we know that we “should” schedule in more “unplugged” or “free” time, but before we know it, another week has passed by where we didn’t take a walk each day or go to the gym.

II. WISE BOOK TO CHECK OUT: CHARLES BARKLEY’S ‘WHO’S AFRAID OF A LARGE BLACK MAN?’

I happened to catch Charles Barkley on Jay Leno’s Late Night show this past week as he has released his new book, “Who’s Afraid of a Big, Black Man?” I always enjoy the ‘chemistry’ between Jay and Charles when they’re together and this time didn’t disappoint. They both have a good time getting in some good digs on each other! I haven’t read the book, but it’s getting good reviews as a serious read. Publisher’s Weekly reports that in the book, “Barkley interviews 13 prominent Americans like Bill Clinton, Jesse Jackson, Tiger Woods, Morgan Freeman and comedian George Lopez on the oft-avoided subject of race.” As you know, I am a big advocate in the area of workplace diversity and leveling the “playing field” in professional sports, not only in the area of sexuality and gender but in terms of race as well. It’s a good sign that Charles has felt empowered enough to write this book. If you’ve read his book or if you plan to check it out, let other readers in our community know what you think by posting in the ‘comments’ on the bottom of this page.

III. WISE RESOURCE FOR COACHES:  MARION FRANKLIN’S LEARN TO COACH CLASS FOR BEGINNING COACHES

Marion Franklin of The Life Coaching Group is, as you know, my co-author of the fabulous e-book, Seven Simple Secrets to Successful Workshops. I also know her as a very kind human being and a fantastic teacher of the art of coaching. One of her big passions as a coach is helping new coaches refine their skills.

I am pleased to announce that Marion is currently taking new mentees for her coaching program:

Learn How to Coach: A Jump Start program

This is a 30 hour (twice a week by phone) training program with an emphasis on skills and techniques using the Structural Alignment� model. You can get information and demonstrations in many places, but only here do you really get the HOW TO This includes how to ask questions, discern, and most importantly, how to really understand people and know where to go next. It distinguishes itself from other programs because the lessons are taught through stories and client examples, lots of individualized attention, and it empahsizes producing permanent change. Each lesson is outlined and sent by e-mail. This is a substantial program with no fluff of any kind focused primarily on life coaching (and all coaching ultimately comes back to life coaching) and coaches learn to coach with confidence before the program is completed. There are practice lessons built in that contain teaching while offering an opportunity for trying coaching out in a safe environment. For continuing support, there is an ongoing practicum that includes case studies, role plays, and supervised practice coaching.

Pricing is as follows: $1000, $1050 in 3 installments, $1075 in 5 installments

Testimonials from current and former class members:

After taking numerous coaching seminars and classes, I thougth I knew what to do, but still not how to do it. Marion’s class bridged the gap. Through a combination of education and practice in a safe enviornment I came away with the skills and confidence to coach. If you are looking to learn “How” to coach, this is the class for you. – Scott Lehmann

What has been invaluable is Marion’s ability to assist me to see beyond the “presenting” issue, to navigate the client beyond the obvious and the strategizing.  Her approach (which I love) is getting to the kernel of the issue where real change can occur. Many thanks! – Joyce G.

I wasn’t totally convinced that I would know how to coach by the end of it, but we are only a few weeks into it, and I have to say I feel like I am on my way! I have already learned more than I ever have anywhere else. It’s all starting to fall into place, and I feel so much more comfortable coaching now. – Karen Regan www.liveyourway.net

I come away after each group call with a new technique, approach or an idea. The class is dynamite and is of tremendous value. – Lopa B.

I appreciate all your wisdom, guidance, concern, and patience. Your format is great in that we get training and learning through experience. You make everything look so easy too, and there is nothing like learning from a master. – Jennifer Q.

Marion is a unique blend of coach/teacher and brings enormous value and experience to this call. – Beth Lyons www.kitchentablecoaching.com

Thanks to Marion’s smart way of structuring each call to provide practice and supportive feedback, I’ve been able, in a relatively short time, to expand my range as a coach and to coach more confidently and intuitively. – S.W.

You have such an effective presentation and coaching style and really inspired me to move forward with my business. Your material was well organized and crisply presented.  You were adept at setting expectations and boundaries for questions so that the class was interactive, yet stayed on track. You served as a good role model for me on how a coach can be strong and purposeful, as well as open and supportive. – A.G.

You are an exemplary role model of what coaching is all about. – R.S.

You are motivational and your boundaries and ethics are consistently appropriate and of the highest order. You exemplify exactly what ‘clean coaching’ is about. – Carole L.

To contact Marion to register or if you have more detailed questions to ask her, be sure to email her at marion@lifecoachinggroup.com or give her a call at 914.333.0443.

When you contact Marion about taking the class, be sure to let her know Barb sent you!

Okay, that’s all for now. Have a fantastic rest of the week!

BE well and prosper,

Barb Elgin

Barb Elgin’s
Creating a Life I Love
Online Ezine for Lesbian Women and Allies – 4/20/05
barb@barbelgin.com
866-396-BARB

Welcome and happy spring to ya!  I know most of you up north are sighing with relief as you open up the windows and breathe some fresh, spring, warm air.  It continues to be a luscious spring here where I am, so I’m enjoying every minute of it! This issue has two main messages to it:  come try Coach Sappho’s ‘Creating a Life I Love’ Club tonight and read about my foray down at GayDays in Orlando, Florida this June!

THIS WEEK’S ISSUE:

I.  TONIGHT IS ‘CREATING A LIFE I LOVE’ CLUB telegroup coaching night!!!

II.  Come Celebrate with Coach Sappho at Gay Days 2005

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I.  TONIGHT IS ‘CREATING A LIFE I LOVE’ CLUB telegroup coaching night!!!

It’s not too late for you to join us for this evening’s group session over the telephone.  And, all full and trial member’s have email access to me today till 7pm EST for email coaching.

This month’s club theme has been:

Taking charge of your physical health and wellness

Each group discussion is split into two parts:

1)  First 30 minutes – topical discussion -tonight’s is:

Wednesday, April 20, 2005, 8-9pm EST - Becoming more attractive on the outside IS important.  Personal and professional image strategies.  Aging and self esteem.  Maximizing what nature gave you.  Call to action: Integrating personal and professional image strategies into your wellness plan.

2)  Second 30 minutes – open discussion and ‘just in time’ coaching for group members.  Opportunities for members to make powerful, forward life shifts.

II.  Come Celebrate with Coach Sappho at Gay Days 2005

As leaders and healers in the GLBT community, those of us who envision a higher calling must “walk their talk.”  Answering the call of my heart has meant making some mighty big (at least for me!) life changes this past year such as…

• deciding to go solo (separating from my partner of over 14 years)
• moving to a new state and moving ahead in creating a life I love
• diving full-time into self-employment

Yes, it’s been trial and error letting go of the old, however, getting free of what wasn’t working in my life has also meant clearing the way for ‘creating my bliss.’  And I am.  This is one of those moments when it all pays off…

As this is my first year living in sunny Florida, I couldn’t resist joining in on all of the fun at GayDays, the annual party-fest for GLBT’s and allies held in Orlando, Florida.

WON’T YOU JOIN ME?

There are lots of parties and events going on at many hotels in and around Orlando in addition to gay park days at places like Disneyworld/magic Kingdom/Universal Studios/Animal Kingdom, etc. areas.  I wanted to invite you to join me at Chris Alexander-Manley and Lil Barcaski’s GayDays celebration, being held at the Sheraton World Hotel in Orlando right on International Drive!  There is no better gathering happening.

If you’re coming to GayDays this year, why not make the Sheraton World Hotel your home base while you’re here!?!  They’ve got a full slate of events planned at the hotel and it’s such a big place, they’ve got one end reserved for the guys, one for the women and a place in the middle to meet!  In addition, they will be offering shuttle service to and from the parks and any off-site events so you can just “park your car in the parking lot and let it sit there for the week, if you’d like!”

I met Lil this past year while networking with other lesbian business owners and I am impressed with her work and her commitment to social causes in our community.  In addition to all of this, she runs her own catering company, Chef Lil, with her partner and another lesbian woman and she sponsors frequent social events for lesbian women in the Orlando area (such as “L Word” watching parties at restaurants in town).

Come meet Coach Sappho at her table in the lobby of the Sheraton World Hotel at the Gay Expo Thursday, Friday and Saturday, June 2, 3 and 4, 2005.

In between park hopping and all of the other poolside and hotel events, be sure to come and meet me or one of my associates at my table in the lobby of the Sheraton World Hotel at the Gay Expo on Thursday (12p-9p), Friday (10a-10p) and Saturday (12noon-6p), June 2, 3 and 4, 2005.  All who sign up for a month’s initial membership in Coach Sappho’s ‘Creating a Life I Love’ Club during GayDays (and that includes you if you can’t stop by the table but register online at http://www.coachsappho.com) will be entered in a contest for one, three month, Lady CEO individual coaching scholarship ($900 value).

Membership in Coach Sappho’s ‘Creating a Life I Love’ Club is an incredible value at only $25 per month.  This rate is for a limited time only and when you join, you can lock in this great rate, for a lifetime.  Or, for just one $299 payment, you can purchase a founding member’s lifetime club membership, receive special ‘founding member’s’ discounts and never pay a membership fee again.

Also available at the table will be the new, relationship CD I’ve created with Pam Williams and Marci Moore called “Relationship M.A.G.I.C. for Life” and discounted, pre-event admission prices to our “Single Mingles.” (see below)  Stop by and hear a sample.

I’d love to meet you and get to know you better so don’t be shy, come on over and share some great conversation!

Coach Sappho and Prosuzy Lead Mens and Women’s “Single Mingles” on Friday and Saturday June 3 and 4, 2005 at GayDays

Please plan to join me and Suzanne Noe (AKA “Prosuzy” – my friend and fellow Floridian who is famous for her Prosuzy activity list for women in the Tampa-St. Petersburg area) for a “Single Mingle” while you’re at GayDays.  Single Mingles are very similar to speed dating, where you get to casually and briefly meet 10-20 other singles in the space of two hours.  There is no pressure other than to get to know lots of people with the intent of answering one question: “would I like to talk to this person again?”  We ask that you follow one rule: You can give our a personal or business card to anyone you want, but you mustn’t ASK anyone for their card.  Asking someone for their card is too pressured.

We’ll be running four events, two for the guys and two for the gals, so…

if you’re single there’s no excuse for not taking some time out of your busy GayDays calendar to meet some other, eligible singles in an atmosphere of fun and genuine conversations while you play at GayDays:

Friday, June 3, 2005 – 1p-3p mens and 5p-7p womens

Saturday, June 4, 2005 – 2p-4p womens and 5p-7p mens

Tickets will also be available for $20, cash only, at our table prior to each event and $25, cash only, at the door.

Never heard of speed dating?  Here’s a great resource for you to learn more about it, prepare for the event and to enhance your dating success anytime:

Speeddating: A Time-Saving Guide to Meeting Your Lifelong Love by Yaacov and Sue Deyo

If you have any questions, please email me.  All in all, I’d have to say: it’s all good, when we’re creating a life we love!  How about you?

BE well and prosper,

Barb Elgin

Copyright � 2001-2005, BE A Success Enterprises, LLC, all rights reserved. Please note: Coaches “inspire individuals or teams to produce a desired result through personalized education, teaching or training; expanding awareness and designing environments” (Coachville). Coaching is not psychotherapy or counseling, is not for crises or emergencies and shouldn’t replace professional assessment and intervention for psychological, medical, legal or financial concerns.

How do the geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans, know when it is time to move on? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within, if only we would listen to it, that tells us so certainly when to go forth into the unknown. – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

BE A Success offers individual and group tele-coaching for anyone who is at any point in the “coming out” process and wants to move forward or feel more confident and comfortable doing so.  As every sexual minority knows, most of us face the issue of “coming out” almost every day in our lives, whether we choose to deal with it or not.

Because homosexuality isn’t celebrated yet in our society, many individuals discover their gayness after adolescence/later in life and/or many try to force themselves to live a heterosexual life until they are unable to take it anymore. Because “coming out” is not a weakness or psychological diagnosis, but in reality a symptom of an unaccepting culture, many individuals are empowered by the coaching process.

Managing one’s sexual identity in the world is a personal matter.  Every person’s circumstances are unique.  Our goal is to help you achieve what you desire, confidently, safely and successfully.

Barb Elgin offers individual and group coaching for:

• married women who are moving forward in their “coming out” process
• spouses, children and family members of those impacted by a family member’s “coming out”
• gays, lesbians and bisexuals who are coming out of “conversion” therapies and ex-gay ministries

Well hello!  How have you been?  It’s been busy as usual over here at Coach Sappho.

• Looking on the bright side this week I’d like to congratulate the State of Maine, who became the 16th state to add sexual orientation and gender identity to a Maine law that bars discrimination in employment, housing, credit, public accomodations and education.
• How’s your love life?  If you’ve ever been in a relationship over a year, you know things tend to “cool down.”  But, is it inevitable that they “cool off?”  I’ll never forget what the psychology professor I took a Human Sexuality class with in college said:

Did you know that your biggest sex organ is between your ears!?!

Yes, indeed, is she nuts, now, just what did she mean?  That imagination, mystery and creativity are sexy turn ons!  So, don’t let your brain cells go limp when it comes to sex and intimacy, even if you are not in a relationship (catch my drift!). 

Hate to break it to you but love isn’t all wine, roses and, for some of us, chocolates!  We have to add a dash of brain food in there too once in awhile.

Make time for sensuality in your life, you deserve it (and it’s no doubt great for stress reduction!).  Stimulate your dendrites and they will give you a tingle!

And, if you’re looking for suggestions to jump start your brain, here’s a couple of my favorite books/tapes on the subject:

Hot Monogamy by Pat Love, EdD (book) (audiotape) – excellent ideas delivered in an often humorous manner.  I just love Pat Love!!!

The Whole Lesbian Sex Book by Felice Newman – full of education and information

Or, here’s a simple suggestion that goes the distance:  each of you should make a list of activities you’ve gotten away from doing that you enjoy or that you’ve fantasized about or want to try.  Then, be sure to do one of those activities at least once a week, alternating back and forth.  And, again, if you are a single slinger, make a list and treat yourself.